Saturday, February 27, 2010

Ending-ile

Patrick again. Tonight is the last night in Kannur for us. Tomorrow morning Jennifer Ellen and I are taking a train to Cochin. There, we will luxuriate for a day before hopping on a plane for Dubai the following morning. JE's buddy Brian is picking us up in town there and taking us around for a bit, as we have an approximately 12-hour layover.

I'm really going to miss this place. Adrika's incredible laugh and manner of speaking. Always taunting and ready to brawl, and at 75 years old, part of me always believed him that he'd kick an ass in an instant. Rajeef, a total powerhouse in the Kalari, was the most tender guy I've ever known, ending massages with an actually-too-tender toweling that was really something to get used to. But he was a really good singing voice to listen to, and as I said, in the Kalari he was a machine. Ramesh, the guy who did two weeks of full body massage on my broken physique, had a crazy and wild laugh that emerged especially when something went wrong, someone was injured, or someone did something ridiculous. Annil. I have no idea about this guy. An opulent nicotine fiend, he was difficult to rope into any serious labor, but when he got down to it, he moved my body through additional weeks of body massage, treatment and kyrie. Shit, and Lakshmiti's food was soulful, spicy and nourishing, day after day. She churned more out of a bunsen burner and a wood stove than I've ever concocted, with all the bells and whistles.

Adieu! Can't wait for the next trip.

Packing and Purging

Well, it's that time again, castor oil and a date with the toilet. Due to complete denial of the fact that I begin the three day journey home tomorrow (one day in Cochin, one in Dubai), I am also packing. Om Namah Shivaya!

As a last goodbye to the city, Patrick, Dearblah and I went to town last night after dinner, just to walk around. The streets are all jammed up with people, animals and traffic traffic traffic. Unbelievably, with all the lights, sounds, smells and general hustle and bustle, I felt like I was in the Indian version of the West Village in Manhattan-with the exception of the Brahmin priests doing pujas on the corner temples and the cows.

All in all, despite the difficulties I have experienced here, perhaps because of them in part, I feel that now familiar connection to the greater of humanity and through that, to divinity. India has a wonderful way of showing you what you need to see, not necessarily what you want to see. I am ready for the next transition home and all the transitions that will undoubtedly unfold in the coming year until I can return here again.

Next I will say goodbye to friends old and new, and look forward to reconnecting with my community at home and giving back, to the greatest extent I can, the gifts that I have received here.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Okay, that's it, I love it here.

It occurred to me how much I love it here at the tail end of a long trip to town, when I was super frustrated by all the rickshaws refusing to pick me up and take me home. I was hot, dusty, and dripping in sweat & they kept passing, one after another. Then I turned around only to realize that I was standing 20 feet from a rickshaw stand & that if one of them had picked me up, it would have been poaching a customer from the guy at the front of the line. Yet again, the beauty of the people here shines radiantly.


On another note, after a few days of really good practice (not enough for my liking, after missing so much,  but I keep chopping away at the ego monster), I started treatment today. I am getting a shortened version- one week of the same thing as last year, Nadi Massage and Kyrie (herb packs cooked in boiling oil & pounded & rubbed) into my skin.


I was apprehensive to start, but as soon as Sherifka put his hands on my head, I immediately felt that my ENTIRE body and my mind had shifted. It was much easier for me to just sit and receive, even when the oil splashed on my legs a bit, I didn't fall apart (I would have and did last year). It is unbelievable how radically this practice and healing work has transformed me, and I am seeing it in so many others as well. I was flipping out about it to Gerhard, and wondering why he wasn't echoing my same level of enthusiasm when he reminded me that he has been at it for 10 years, and although he still feels inspired by seeing the huge shifts in people, it doesn't shock him any more. Well, I look forward to that, but in the meantime, I"ll just keep flipping out & marveling at how exactly I got so lucky. 


Just 12 more days, it's starting to go very fast now.


OM LOVE,
Jennifer Ellen

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Introspection, Expansion & a Spot of Luck.

Hello All, it's Jennifer Ellen. Today is Nicole's last day here,  that means we've been here a month, and I just can't believe it! With sickness and delays in training, I feel as if I am just arriving, and yet I only have 13 days left, 10 of them treatment. What an difference from last year. 

This trip has been decidedly more introspective. More about expectation, motivation, and surrender. I am really learning to honor the art of being in this moment with this feeling right now. I know that time alone, with no email, blog or phone is essential to my mental and physical health, but here, I have had a chance to practice that. I have felt an underlying current of anxiety about being 'out of touch' and am uncovering layers of emotion related to that current that I haven't explored before. Who has these expectations? What are my motivations? What does it really mean to surrender? I am discovering that once again, it comes back to honoring the deep truth within, and practices that quiet and settle the mind to feel into that deep truth. Just now, it feels a bit like attempting to tame a tiger, but I know that this is the process, and that the tiger can also suddenly morph into a sweet cuddly kitty. I'll look forward to that time, for sure.

As far as practice, despite the starts and stops, and a bunch of setbacks, I have expanded into new forms, beautiful, fiery and powerful. It's tough work, but the transformation is undeniable. My mind and body are really shifting. It is hard to believe that at the ripe old age of 37, I still have my healthiest, strongest body ahead of me. This practice is incredibly vast, and watching the senior students practice gives me so much motivation. It seems that there will never be a time when I know all that there is to know about this art.

I often reflect on exactly how I got here, and it boggles my mind. The only real conclusion I can come to is Divine Intervention & a spot of luck. 

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Beach going and purging

Patrick again.

I realize I'm the resident blogger for the trip, and wish I was better able to give updates for all the members of our group. They're all well, thriving in their own skin, and moving along in their practices. Natalie suffered through some more illness here, and got on antibiotics a few days ago. She's much better off. Ryan and Nicole seem pretty steady in their practices. I've gone to a few of their practice sessions. They're all getting stronger and stronger, more confident and advancing.

Jennifer Ellen wanted me to give the blog the latest on our travels, specifically about our trip to M--- beach. It's a bit of a remote place, and Gerhard stopped several times while driving the white "family van" here. He's not a bad driver considering the varying road conditions, lack of street signs and unfamiliar traffic patters. If you've ever been to developing parts of the world, you'll know what I mean. It's like that. And full of life.

So this beach -- we got to this head up over a cliff and hiked down over stone steps and beaten pathway. Through the trail, we witnessed a surprising array of plant life: ferns, pines, cacti, flowering tropical fare, trees sprouting roots the middle of their trunks. Grass. Actual grass as well, which was an oddity, actually, for this region. When we emerged from through the lush green trail, we came upon a large stone embankment. This had been installed recently, with construction crews still finalizing parts of the largely granite fortification against the occasional and season wild tide.

People here consider beaches as we know and love them (you know, white sand, no rocks, etc.) as a sort of wasteland. Who wouldn't want some greenery and little tidepools in their beach scene? Well, we indulged as some of the only luxuriants along the coastline. There were, of course, the construction crews, who'd poke their heads out and come talk to us ever now and then. But it was open. Wide open. Hardly anyone else there. And for miles to the north, nothing but open beach, with the forest set off from the coast a little ways, and eagles in the sky, swooping about. All very bucolic. To the south, a slopping cliff. The cliff featured palm trees and lush greenery. To the east of the cliff, a nice little lagoon. Actually, it was a bit smelly. And the cliff, off the northwest face, a bit of a dumping ground. No logic can explain to me why people treat their land so abusively. Perhaps some anthropoligists could do the work. It doesn't come out for me. From other places in the developing world that I've visted, and then New York and our American large cities as well -- why is there so much garbage. A Texas-sized island of floating plastic is in the Pacific. Hard to grasp, but looking there at how much beauty was at the top and off the sides of the cliff, with the sun setting over a white beach. Why the garbage. It's not my home, and as with so much here that I value good and that I value bad, a suspended judgement and willingness to accept and dive in headstrong is required. The sunset, trash strewn over the cliff face, white sand, and not in the cloud in the sky. Couldn't have been better.

We got back to the car and headed back to the Happy House.

The day before our trip to the M---- beach, Nicole, Ryan and I had our "purging day." This came at the end of seven days of treatment for the three of us, and marked my halfway point with treatment and the embarking of the other two onto their next leg of training.

The purging involves the drinking of castor oil at 6:00am. You then drink cool water, and wait for the bowels to make their movements. It was all over, the cramping and nausia included, in about three hours. We were sapped for energy for the rest of the day, and took the next day lightly.

Treatments are a hell of a think and I'm now who-many-days into the second leg of the two-week treatment. It's going well. More next time. We're going to play cards now.

Much love until next time, Patrick

Saturday, February 6, 2010

This Time for Real

Well, I REALLY thought I was getting better when I last posted, but in fact, the worst was yet to come. I won't bore you with the details, but essentially I ended up not being able to breathe. Problem. After rushing to one doctor, then the next and finally to the hospital (western), I recieved a really wierd inhalation treatment, some super duper antibiotics & voila, not dead! Hooray!

It is now my 4th day of practice, and I am for sure feeling into it. Unsure of how much strength, but feeling an underlying urgency to make up for the lost two weeks. In my conscious mind, I know this is useless and unproductive, but I inevitibaly feel the slight ego tug of "should do more".  Needless to say, I am grateful for my practices of mindfullness and letting go, they are sure getting some fine tuning right now.

As for life in Kerala, we have been a huge group. I believe that we number 22 at the moment (from the U.S., Italy, France, Germany, Sweden, England, and Japan). The biggest group to ever be here at the same time. It may not sound like alot to you, but we only have two practice spaces, and with everyone on different levels, the Kalaris only hold about 6 comfortably. So it's been tight, but REALLY fun to meet and connect with old and new friends, and super inspiring to watch the people who have been practicing for a lot longer than me- who knew regular humans could fly?!

Two nights ago, we had a roof top gathering with guitars, singing, sweets and chatting. In the glow of the candles, I felt so peaceful, joyful and deeply grateful for these experiences (even if I had had some turbulence). It is wonderful to be here.

Nicole, Patrick and Ryan have done their purge today, so I'll let Patrick tell you all about that, I am sure he has some interesting things to say about it...

As for me, I am just glad to be on the other side of the mountain, and look forward to sharing more as I go.

Om Love,
Jennifer Ellen

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Treatments

Hi Patrick here again:

God, what do I know about treatments? I've had two massages in my life -- both from Julie at Flow Yoga. She treats me good. But I am here, in India, and I've been told that this place can help me with back and neck pain caused by pre-existing injuries. They're not the only pre-existing injuries I have. There are whole bunches, most of which I don't really count, from a lifetime of competitive hockey. Three concussions, a partially town MCL, scores of sprains, endless bruises, fully lashed whips, and so on. Sticks to the face, torn flesh. All for glory and not a bit regretted. Hockey's a game of instant karma, and I gave as much as I received.

When Gerhard Schmid (Jennifer Ellen's teacher and a master Kalari practitioner himself) came to Salt Lake City, I sat down for a consultation. I presented him, in the accustomed fashion with a complete list of injuries and illnesses from my past, with detail on my current troubles, which include a bit of anxiety. He told me, and I'd never heard this before but it made sense, that head trauma can cause lasting anxiety. I suppose because you are protecting your body's vital thinking-machine from further, possibly debilitating injury. Fair enough. But he said that he wasn't in town for long enough to fix the problem. He suggested I go to India. It was a somewhat wild supposition that I'd actually materialize here back then, but I am here and so it goes.

So. I go in to meet the head Kalari and treatment dude here, in Kannur. Same list of injuries and woes. Treatments are prescribed in spurts of Malayalam, a bit of figuring with the head cocked sideways, some wobbling and some English. I don't know how it works or if it all isn't just some sort of elaborate improvisation. It can certainly appear that way sometimes here.

I was scheduled several times for treatments and actually ended up starting yesterday, with one night's notice. That is the way here and much of life is about learning to sink in, to relax, to accept.

I went in for the first day of treatment and laid belly-down on a straw mat. Wearing nearly nothing. Sherifka asked me to remind him of my ailments. Halfway through he waved me off. We were ready to begin. Warm oil coated my backside as four hands worked up and down. Throughout my legs and arms, quick flicking with the thumbs and broad strokes worked deep into tissue and prepared my body. There was some of what I'd traditionally associate with massage, but mostly it felt very foreign. I couldn't place quite what they were doing or why, as best I tried. And it's not worth asking. I mean, perhaps you could have a conversation with them for academic engrossment, but I am learning to trust the process.

Day one ended with me more or less feeling like I had received a sort of weak sauce. Not much to write home about. Later in the day, as I followed the direction to just rest for the day, not sleep, not go into the hot sun, and just relax…. well I found that my muscles were mysteriously sore. My hunger was vigorous. I ate a lot for breakfast, had a hearty snack and feasted for dinner. I also got a glimpse of what I'm like spending time with myself. Doing nothing. Learning to relax. What an art form this is!! What lifelong adventure this discovery alone will surely embark. It brings to mind thoughts of "wow, what do I do at home," "how do I forget about myself in my regular life," and "how do you relax." Good heavens.

Day two. Sleeping wasn't plentiful for me, and I woke up thinking I had barely enough time to get ready. I had plenty, and spend a few restful minutes before the treatment reading a tourism book on the region from 1999, and enveloping myself in an appreciation of the vast diversity of even this region of this state of this nation alone. Good heavens, is India vast! I can't even imagine the depth of a whole nation when even this oft-forgotten corner is more than I can get my head around, more healing, spiritual and body knowledge than could clean out the entire United States. Or what do I know, maybe I'm just falling in love with this place.

But in any adventure, they got me into the treatment room and I laid down again. This day's massage was a slight variation on what I'd experienced the day before. Not quite the same. There was some interesting massage involving the lifting of the base of my spine: my tailbone. I won't go into it. It was… interesting and I felt a bit vulnerable. Throughout the day (and we're talking about the present day now), I really felt the soreness in my body, my arms and my legs now. Like I had been exerting myself against some unknown outside objects.

Today for my daylong relaxation, I ready some of the Autobiography of a Yogi, slowly. I played cards with some of the fellow students here, and did some leisurely talking. There's also some time for quite a bit of reflection and meditation, but I won't get into too much of that. There's always more to sort out, more to learn by, more ways to grow.

To tomorrow,
Patrick


Friday, January 29, 2010

Holy Holy!

Wow, what an incredible 10 days since we arrived.

I arrived healthy as a horse & slowly began practice. On the 2nd day, I started to feel a tickle- I had gotten Natalie's virus that she imported here from the U.S.. By day 4, I was D-O-W-N, day 6 I couldn't breathe fully & my fever was raging. Hallucinations, memory loss, fits of coughing that lasted 2 minutes or more continuously, sinuses on fire, and  to top it all off, a 1 ton weight on my chest making it impossible to breathe. I was SCARED. Being sick in India not like being sick in the U.S.. I could feel a sense that if things went any further wrong, this might really be the end for me. I know it sounds dramatic, but trust me, it was dramatic.  9 Ayurvedic medicines, 6 Western medicines, 3 doctors & 2 hospitals later, I finally turned the corner. Three days of rest, and now I am back to life.

Gerhard, Sherifka, Patrick, Nicole, Ryan and Natalie were all really great, checking in on me and making sure  that I had what I needed, letting me sleep 12 hours a day & 10 hours at night. I am grateful to them for keeping me positive even when they were nervous about my declining condition. Often, steadiness is just the right tonic to give strength, and they were all so steady.

I am especially grateful to Patrick, who has kept up the communication in the blog and through facebook. He has such a great attitude & enthusiasm to spare for the experiences here. We've nicknamed him Curious George, as he has a tendencey to wander into places he shouldn't and with his huge smile and bigger heart, the people here just welcome him in with open arms (and they often feed him, too). He'll continue to post from time to time.

In Ayurveda and Yoga, it is believed that illness, especially intense illness is a purging of not only physical toxins, but of karmas, or of things in your life that simply need to go. I have felt this deeply, and each day I have been meditating on letting go of everything in my life. Total surrender. Let everything fall away, and let the potential for re-creation begin to flow through me again. These are the big lessons that India has to teach, and I am so glad to be laying in her lap once again.
ॐ नमः शिवाय, ॐ क्रीम कलिकिय्ह नमः

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Sickness, fasting and more practice

Hi,

Patrick again here. Jennifer Ellen is recovering well and is in good spirits today. I wrote this a couple days  ago as an update to our adventures. But it's mostly about me. :-)

A few days ago I accidentally slept through the morning practice. When I sauntered out, unbeknownst to me, at 10am, I saw my practice mates and mentioned that I might not be going to practice. Feeling sick. I thought they hadn't gone yet. Oh well. I took the day as a rest day to make sure I was over the coughing that, at one time another, plagued us all, to varying degrees, except for Nicole, who hasn't been sick at all. To my memory, I mostly read that day.

The next day, we all had off. I elected to follow the suggestions of our new housemate Gerhard, who has been practicing Kalari for 9 years and has been to Kerala many, many times. He said to fast. Drink only water for one day. So I did that. Well, water and dasmoola, this sweet, somewhat fungas-y paste that is good for the health of the throat. Right on, ayurveda. I'd been fingering jars of the stuff for seven days now and have really grown up a taste for it. Every half an hour I scoop a finger tip of it out of the jar and eat it down. So -- fasting. Whewwww. Never had I done this before -- not eating for an entire day. I know many of the readers of the Flow Yoga blog will maybe think this is silly. Maybe not. But I have never fasted. Botched attempts at purging with quack (sp) tea -- yes. We will not get into that now. For much of the day, I obsessed about food -- other people eating it, the varieties of food and their tastiness. Thoughts of specific foods jumped in my head when I passed a banana, or the box of cereal I brought as filler in my under-stuffed suitcase. Or the jar of whey protein I brought for the same reason. Or any of the absolutely delightful foods that our house cook, Laksmitaji (sp), prepares for us. Mmmmm, so much of it looked good. I noticed how often, even when not eating, the conversation among us turns to food. What we ate, what we're going to be eating, what we enjoy eating for snacks, tasty deserts, places to eat in Salt Lake (a favorite subject of mine, by the way), and the list goes on. The hunger came in waves. I am told that for experienced fasters (say, people who fast one day a month or something), this phenomenon of craving is greatly lessened. And for fasters who fast, say, once a year for seven days, that the hard days are the first three. After that, allegedly you have great energy and strength. They told me that my digestive fires are some of the strongest energy I have in my body, and that when I give them a break from working on food, that they can go about the business of attacking illness more vigorously, and can generally sweep the body, scrubbing out toxins and repairing tissues. Much of my head did not believe much of what I was being told. But a better part of me know that everything is worth a try, and that SO OFTEN in life, the best thing to do is give up and follow advice from someone who has experience, and has some qualities that you admire. This is the case with Gerhard, and many of my fellow students. So I listened.
The next day -- I thought I'd be feeling woozy, too much so to practice. But I awoke refreshed. Hungry for sure. But that banana tasted great! And I got to go to practice feeling spry and invigorated. The sick feeling was was out of my body. And I hope it'll stay that way.
For the morning practice today, we worked on Southern style -- two forms. Both are very rapid, very quick blocking, kicking, striking and turning. They are some of my favorite new forms we've done. We also tackled the Fire form of Shiva (I think that's the one and often confuse the names of Shiva and Shakti).

For evening practice, a major highlight was going with Rajeef, one of our instructors and a very happy, very fun person to be around, to the Kalari on back of his motorcycle. And the ride back was amazing. Smiling, waving, and hanging my arms off the back and sides of the motorcycle, I felt like a good will ambassador for all, receiving loads of healthy smiles and head-wobbles from the people we passed on the streets. The ride came to a wonderful conclusion as we turned down a side street on the way home. We turned right square into the setting sun, falling over the ocean. It doesn't get old. From there, we turned left, and speeded down the road along the sea -- the Arabian Sea -- as the sun set, I smiled, extended my arms out, and waved like the sick, sane, wild and little child I am.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

In Kerala!!

Hello everybody! We all made it safe here to Kerala, India by way of planes, trains and automobiles. No kidding. And here the driving is a bit wild, always beeping and honking and driving on the left side of the road, sometimes no lane dividers. But, you know, it's halfway around the world and the driving style is only the beginning, the mere surface of what beautiful differences and similarities await us each day.

Jennifer Ellen's a bit sick right now but doing fine -- so I'm (Patrick Commiskey) writing our first blog entry on her behalf. Perhaps I could share for you some of my first experiences of what it is like to be living now in Kannur, India.

We are right on the beach. Well. There's a road in front of our house that separates the sand and shells from our door. We can see the beach from our roof, and the waves, and at night, the setting sun. The sunsets here haven't been dramatic, colorful, or rich in shading or design. The sun has just lowered on the horizon, and then a few clicks above the watery arc, it just disappears. We can see this from our roof. We've watched it from the large granite retainer rocks along the road. And we can be swimming and see this too.

The sun's become a large part of our experience here. The sun is very strong, and the heat is hot. Mixed with the humidity, it's left us clamoring for water, sweating almost constantly, and adopting a much more tropical disposition when sitting, reclining or lying down. Even at night it is hot. But I'm learning that by moving my bed near the window, I can capture a bit of sea breeze, just enough to wash me to sleep.

Kalari practice is tough. I hit my right ankle and left toe today, and have general soreness in my hamstrings, which, despite prior physical exercise, I must not have actually used before. The kalari pit is red. Red with clay, and it is dug some number of feet into the ground, so that when you are standing in it, your feet become red, and everywhere you touch your sweaty body becomes a blood-like painting. And you can see the sun and hear life going on around you because, although the kalari pit is dug into the ground, the sides of it still creep up over the surface, and the roof is set off a few feet from the side walls.

Some of the students here are oiling their bodies before practice -- this apparently helps the student remain cool in temperature and composition during practice. I haven't experienced it myself, since my health isn't 100% from travelling.

The teachers are all nice and I love the other students here. The food is amazing -- three meals a day provided for us of exquisite taste, health and variety -- and our laundry has been cleaned promptly once every day or two.

My clothing attire is very different than it is in the United States. For starters, it is January and I'm sweating constantly. So, sandals only. And then instead of pants or shorts we are given wraps of cloth called lungis. These lungis require no underwear, and it is similar to wearing around a very cool, and very breezy shower towel... all... day.... long. Very comfortable. And I've been wearing t-shirts and white tank tops around the house.

I'm going to sign off for now. I don't know when, or if, I'll be updating again. But I feel good about putting some kind of good vibrations out there onto the Internet about our happenings here in this wonderful little coast town. Peaceful, happy and growing.

Signing off from the Happy House,

Patrick

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Bliggity Bloggity Shmiggity Shmog...

Okay, so I am TERRIBLE at blogging. I admit it, full disclosure, I stink. BUT....

With all this New Year stuff floating around like H1N1, I think I have caught a 'recommit to the blog' bug. I am hoping to share adventures in India on this blog (I leave on the 16th- YAY!), as well as keeping in touch with yoga adventures, adventures with Buttercup the wonder dog, and adventures in life in general.

So stay tuned, I promise to share more fully in the New Year. Here's to a fantastic 2010 filled with great expansion, humor and a bunch of love.

Namaste.